As I posted yesterday I was meeting up with Lisa and our mututal friend for some drinks last night.
After only a short amount of time our friend left and it was just Lisa and me for the rest of the night. We had a fair few drinks, and it still doesn't take many for her to get fairly drunk.
We spent a great deal of time, from very early on in the evening, talking about the time we spent together, and mostly the sex we had. We were both very flattering to each other, which is always nice, and there was a huge amount of sexual tension. She mentioned being on anti-depressants and said they caused her to not want sex very much with her boyfriend. She certainly seemed to enjoy talking about it though.
We had a chat about the conversation that caused Lisa and I to stop seeing each other. I wrote about it on this blog about 2 and a half years ago. She asked if I could see us together as a couple, only a few days or weeks after us agreeing that we would just be friends with benefits. Based on that conversation I gave some half-assed answer because I didn't want to fuck up what we had to try to get what I wanted. I really wanted to say yes to her back then. I found out last night that she really wanted me to say yes too.
It was so frustrating. Knowing that I could have had things how I wanted them all that time ago. Who knows how it would have turned out? It was a major fork in the road of our lives, and we took one turn because we were both too scared to admit we wanted to take the other.
After a bit more talking about our sexual exploits Lisa said this to me "If you were willing, and I was single, then we'd be on a bus back to your house right now," which made things even more frustrating. I replied with "if you were single and interested then we'd be in a taxi to my house right now!"
After a bit more talking I was a little bit drunk, so I apologised. When she asked what for I put my hand on the side of her face and kissed her on the cheek. I wanted to kiss her on the lips, but she mistook my lean as if I was about to whisper anything so I had to abort my original plan at the last minute. She knew what I'd had in mind afterwards though, and she said there was no need to apologise. Nothing else particularly untoward happened for the rest of the night. Just a lot of talk about sex, relationships, and what things could have been like between us.
It was rather unusual to get right into conversations like that with someone after not seeing them for ages, but it was also really nice. Hopefully we'll meet up again one day soon.
