It seems pretty mental that it's so easy to get to a sexual level with people, but I guess people are all looking for the same few things when it all comes down to it. Sex was an important enough part of life for Maslow to include it on the base of his heirarchy of needs along with food, water, and sleep!
There's a girl I've known for a couple of months who is friends with a couple of my friends. I will call her Cath on here. She is 21 years old, graduated uni after studying journalism, and now works at a local gym on the reception for basically minimum wage. She still lives with her mum, and the house is about 10 miles away from here.
The first few times I met her I had it in my head that I wouldn't like her, so I didn't. After a while I noticed she wasn't actually as bad as I thought. So we started to become friends. We spoke a lot on Facebook and stuff like that. A couple of weeks ago she started being quite flirtatious with me, and she often spoke about my ex and I splitting up.
Now my ex and I have split up she's only really spoken to me once. Earlier this evening she asked me to go to her house tonight because her mum is out. I said I couldn't be bothered to go there, but would pay for her taxi to here. She didn't bother though because it was fairly late by the time I'd talked her into leaving the house.
Pretty sure the first time we spend any time together with any privacy we would have sex. It's basically been signed, sealed, and undelivered because of a postal strike.
The problem with having sex with Cath is that she knows quite a few people that I know, and if we ended up being stupid and hating each other then it could make things awkward for other people. It could also ruin my chances of getting together with another girl that knows her.
This other girl is called Linzi. I knew from wher I used to work, and we have kissed a couple of times. We pretty much used to speak to each other all the time, and for about a couple of weeks I was sure we'd get together. The problem was that she had a boyfriend. Well, she still sort of has the same boyfriend now. They broke up a couple of days before I did with my ex. Linzi's boyfriend has decided that they should actually just be in an open relationship, and she's being stupid enough to agree to it because she cares for him a lot.
Linzi is friends with same friends that Cath is friends with. This makes the whole thing very awkward.
I would like to see Cath a few times, but I don't want to be in a relationship with her. It would just be about sex. Things with Linzi are very different. I liked her a hell of a lot back then, and I'm sure I would do again if we started to see each other at all. I don't want to rush back into another relationship right now, and I doubt she does. I also don't want to try to ge with her and have her choose her on/off boyfriend over me.
Ordinarily I would be able to do the whole single random thing with Cath and then when I'm ready for a relationship I could see hat the state is with Linzi, but because they all know each other, and know my friends it wouldn't work that way. If I have sex with Cath then that would put me out of the runnings with Linzi.
I really have to think about what I actually want to happen with these two girls and then come up with a course of action that makes it happen. It would be very easy to mess it up by just having sex when it's offered on a plate. I have a sinking feeling that that's what'll happen. It's been a long time for me, and I really would like to have sex with someone. Having it offered would almost certainly lead to me accepting the offer.
Do I jeopardise a potential (however unlikely) future girl that I think I care about so I can have sex at the moment, or do I skip the sex now, and hope that things just randomly work out for the best with Linzi?
Confused, conflicted.
