Sexploration

Emily has a boyfriend still. We'll call him Tim. He lives near where Emily went to university, which is quite far from here.

I had a really long conversation with Emily about their relationship today, and we have done so before, too. Emily's positive Tim's not the guy for her any more. She has some unresolved things with him, meaning she's not going to end things just yet because it'd be more than a bit mean on him. Personally I think I'd rather know the full truth straight away. If I say that it's meaner not to tell him I just sound like I'm trying to split them up.

I really have tried to be impartial, suggesting that she tells him she's having doubts and watches how he tries to make it better. She said she doesn't want him to try to make it better though. She just wants to end things with him, in a non-mean way. That means she'll be with him for another month.

She did agree that she should probably have a bit of a chat with him though. So that'll probably be happening at some point fairly soon. Probably the weekend after this one, in fact.

Now, I have unresolved issues with Emily myself. I can't work out what she's interested in. I don't know if she just wants to be friends with me, or if she likes me, but is hiding it. It's tough to tell. The advice she gave me about Valerie makes me suspect she likes me. Also the fact that she's convinced she doesn't want to be with Tim makes me think she's looking for someone else. We've both mentioned to each other how our parents have said we should get together (which is kinda strange). I just don't want to make a fool of myself by asking her outright while I'm unsure!

Any thoughts? :\

Valerie sent a bunch of messages to me today. It got to the point where we were both just openly flirting with each other. I pointed it out and she asked if it was a problem. I said no, but that flirting usually ended up going in one particular direction. Then I asked her if that was her plan all along and said she was just trying to get me into bed.

Valerie said I was trying to get her into bed! The cheek of it. I'd spent all night being disallowed from speaking to her. I certainly wasn't the one who instigated the flirting, let alone the conversation after weeks of being blanked and ignored. So, she pissed me off a bit with her comment.

I replied with "How is that? Was it when you invited me into town, then sent a hundred messages asking when I'd get there, then called me the next day, then sent more messages?" Then a second one a few seconds later saying "Thought so. "

She didn't reply for a few hours, but I managed to hold back from saying anything to her. Eventually I got a message saying "I did not send.. A hundred texts!! I was hammered you realise how long it took me to right a text lol... But ok i was trying to get you into bed lol"

I fricking won! I got her to admit she is the one chasing me. That has never happened before with Valerie. She's a very stubborn person and always tried to make it seem like I was the only one getting something out of us seeing each other. I was grinning constantly for a good 10 minutes. I thanked Emily for her advice, as it does seem to be paying off nicely.

The ball is well and truly in my court. I just need to decide which direction to hit it, and how hard.

Valerie's got me kinda confused again... With a little help from Emily, my friend and self-appointed relationship advisor.

She called me yesterday and spoke to me until her credit ran out. Then when I called back we spoke for a minute or so and she said she'd text me later on because she was having her dinner.

She did text me later on, but Emily told me I shouldn't reply. So I didn't. I got another message a bit later on saying "Quiet?" Emily still wouldn't let me reply to it. Apparently I shouldn't be so quick to reply to her, and have a chat...

I don't really do the whole mind-game trick-playing thing if I can avoid it--usually I can--so I'm in new waters with this. I just think it's a bit rude not to reply to a message. Especially since I was just being friendly. The first message said "Biggest hang over to date Hehe i'm surprised i made it home... And not to somewhere else o_O" That sounds like she was expecting to end up at my house, to me... But I might be interpreting it incorrectly.

I was chatting to Emily for a good hour or so about her boyfriend. She said she's not interested in him any more because all the things she used to like him for are now the things she dislikes about him. The last week or so spent with Emily (almost every day) has made me suspect she kinda likes me. I might just be mistaking long-standing friendship and comfortableness though. I did ask her out once, about 7 years ago, but she said we were just friends back then.

She went away to university and I went to California, so we didn't speak for a very long time. Perhaps she sees things differently now. She's definitely very flirtatious. She keeps raising her eyebrows when she looks at me and making suggestive comments... But that doesn't really mean much.

The thing that has me thinking the most is her advice about Valerie. She keeps telling me to do things that I would say hinder my chances of anything normal taking place--even just being friends. It seems almost kind of like a sabotage. I don't know what to think though. Perhaps my ego is just running away with me.

Any sage-like advice would be greatly appreciated.

Valerie's back in town, as I mentioned a couple of entries ago. I am still totally past caring about a relationship with her. I know that'd be a bad idea... But... Yesterday she was sending me text messages for ages asking if I was going out into town. I said I would do, and from then on she kept pestering me to see when I'd turn up. I kept putting it off because I was out with other people, but kept telling her that I'd make it eventually.

Luckily for me one of the people that I was out with, we'll call her Emily, was giving me advice on what to put in my messages. One went something like "I'm out with someone at the moment. I'll be coming out soon." which, according to Emily, is supposed to make her a bit jealous.

Valerie replied with "You're crap" and Emily would not let me reply to that message. A couple of minutes later Valerie sent along another message saying "Pleaseeee Hehe soon hammerede Hehe" which let me know just how desperate, and drunk, she was. I didn't reply to that one either, until I was almost in town. Then I asked her where she was and went and met her.

After a few minutes with her and her friends one of them came over to me and said that she thinks Valerie was showing off for me. Later on in the night she asked if Valerie and I had kissed yet. She said she was positive that we definitely would do during the night. The way Valerie was behaving I was expecting it myself. But nothing happened. We danced a lot, and there were times when we were talking and our heads were together that we just stayed like that without saying anything, but there was no kiss.

In the end Valerie had to go meet her once-ex-fiancée for a lift home. I also got a lift home, from someone else, and went to sleep, alone.

I can't help but think that the night could have gone very differently if I'd put some effort into it, but I really don't know if I want to or not.

She's cool to hang out with most of the time, and she's good in bed... She also has a fiancée again, and would not be very good for a relationship.

Perhaps I should just play it by ear. See if she's really as interested as everyone, including me, seems to think, and then make my mind up what to do from there. If anything it'll just be a bit of harmless fun... I don't think she'll last much longer with her fiancé. My guess was a month or two, and I think it'll be about right. Apparently they spend most of their time arguing at the moment. I just happen to be around being the nice understanding person.

Just hope I don't fumble the ball and run all the way into The Friend Zone!

Here are some more of her messages from last night. Tell me if you think she's as interested in me as I suspect. Some are more obvious (and coherent) than the others. They're arranged chronologically.

"I can see you skipping it due to a prior arrangement "
"Good good so come down town"
"You coming?"
"Why not now... Hurry up.! Or lose out"
"I don't no Hehe just hurry up you said you were coming hours ago..!... Typical man"
"Pleaseeee Hehe soon hammerede Hehe"

Lisa came over to my house early (2am) on Monday morning after she'd been to work until 23:30, gone home to shower and do her hair.

The pretence this time was that I'd be helping her to write a CV. I would have done so had she not taken so long to get to my house. By the time she got to my house neither of us could be bothered to start a CV. We didn't even watch a movie or anything. We just got on my bed and spoke for a while.

Lisa told me I should turn off my light and my monitors because it was too bright in the room. So I did. We then had a drink each. Malibu for Lisa and JD for me.

After a couple of minutes she was getting pretty drunk. It was pretty quick, but no denying it. When she'd finished her drink (long after mine was gone) she said it was time for her to go have a cigarette. She started to climb over me to get off the bed and I pulled her down onto me.

She asked if I thought this stuff was a good idea because we seem to do it, then not speak to each other for a couple of months, then meet up to do it again, etc. This was quite strange because the night before she'd been talking to me about whether I think she and I could ever date each other properly. I think I could do, and I think we'd have a lot of fun while it lasted. I don't think it'd last very long though. Certainly not with everything how it is now. Perhaps when things are different it'll be worth looking at in greater detail.

That was a big digression... Basically I said I thought it was a good idea. and then pulled her head down to mine and kissed her. She hesitated for a few seconds, but then I rolled her over onto her back and kissed her some more. She soon made up her mind and started kissing back. I remembered (thanks to this blog) that she likes her ears being nibbled, so I did that for a while and she said she was glad I'd remembered. (She knows I write this blog now, but she doesn't know the address for it. She also knows her name has been changed.) After a few minutes of kissing and stuff she was getting very into it. I stopped and said it was time for her cigarette.

When we got back to my room afterwards we went pretty much straight into kissing again. Before too long we had our hands all over each other. She'd mentioned on the phone that she went down on me a lot more than I ever went down on her. I started my efforts to correct the ratio. She definitely enjoyed that a lot. I enjoy doing it. I guess I just sort of forget to actually do it.

Lisa told me she wanted sex, and obviously I did too. She said she had to do something before we did though, so it was less painful for her. (She's pretty small as it is. She's also not the most experienced person I know.) She began masturbating and we were kissing a lot while she did. Then I moved my hand over to help her out. She gave me a bit of guidance so she was enjoying it more. I think that must have gone on for about half an hour or so before she came. Definitely feels good to know you're responsible for it. For most of the last part she was using her hand on me at the same time. I think it actually helped make it easier because she was holding something, as well as kissing someone... That's gotta make it better than just doing it by yourself, right?

After that she was apparently too tired for sex though, so we ended up just going to sleep with the promise that she would give me a blowjob in the morning. Not that anything was required in return... And it's a good job! The next day Lisa didn't really feel like doing anything because of her lack of sleep, and I had to be out of the house quite early anyway. She says she owes me, and that's fine, but I'm not too bothered about claiming it. I don't mind it being one-sided sometimes. It's still fun.

Lisa came over to my house early (2am) on Monday morning after she'd been to work until 23:30, gone home to shower and do her hair.

The pretence this time was that I'd be helping her to write a CV. I would have done so had she not taken so long to get to my house. By the time she got to my house neither of us could be bothered to start a CV. We didn't even watch a movie or anything. We just got on my bed and spoke for a while.

Lisa told me I should turn off my light and my monitors because it was too bright in the room. So I did. We then had a drink each. Malibu for Lisa and JD for me.

After a couple of minutes she was getting pretty drunk. It was pretty quick, but no denying it. When she'd finished her drink (long after mine was gone) she said it was time for her to go have a cigarette. She started to climb over me to get off the bed and I pulled her down onto me.

She asked if I thought this stuff was a good idea because we seem to do it, then not speak to each other for a couple o

It's been quite a while since I last updated. Nearly 2 months, in fact.

In that time Valerie's done all of her training down in London. She came back up for my birthday weekend and we stayed in a hotel. Needless to say that was good. After that she came back up every weekend, but didn't see me once. I found out from one of her friends that she did manage to see her ex-boyfriend though. Long story short: she's back in town, and back with her ex. Oh well. I was annoyed at first because she just kept lying to me rather than telling me it was over and letting me move on. Now I'm just about past caring.

There's a new girl that I like quite a lot. As far as this blog's concerned her name is Lola. Well, she has a boyfriend (yeah, I'm great like that) and she's not happy with him. Sound familiar? Not a great deal has happened up to yet. Just a few kisses stolen away when we've had a chance. A couple of "dates" too. One just a meeting in Bruger King, the second was a trip to the cinema to see Next.

Things are pretty cool with her, but it's not going to work out for quite a while, if at all.

On Friday I was talking to my friend and his girlfriend (we'll call them Dan and Emma) on the computer and I got a webcam invitation. After a little while they were kinda busy on cam. It was quite strange seeing them have sex. Then they invited me over to join in! I didn't go over there though. I didn't think they were serious. Turns out they were. We went out to a club last night and when we got off the bus at the stop Dan told Emma she should give us both a blowjob beside the road. So she did.

Now, it didn't go on for long, not to completion because of where we were. We came back to my house to pick up a phone charger for Dan, then Emma carried on with the blowjobs outside my house. At some point we were joking around about things and ummm... Yeah. We were drunk, and neither me nor Dan back down easily. I don't really know how to phrase this, so I'm just going to say it quickly. For the sake of not backing down he ended up doing what Emma had been doing to me for a second, and I did the same to him... Yeah... I don't know what to think about it today. On one hand I'm not that freaked out by it, because I'm pretty comfortable with who I am, and what I want. On the other hand I think it's pretty fucking crazy!

Anyway, we ended up going back to Emma's house where she carried on where she'd left off again. A little while later Dan was having sex with her while she carried on giving me a blowjob.

I've never had a threesome before in my life. I always expected it'd be with two women if I did, too. Oh well. I wasn't anywhere near as weirded out by it as I expected.