Sexploration

Last night i ended up getting a lift home from a pub with Valerie. Well, she came and picked me up from the pub. It was weird to explain to my friends (who know her) that I wouldn't be getting a lift back with them because she was coming. I got a very disapproving look from Dan's girlfriend because she knows that Valerie has a boyfriend.

Valerie came to my house and we sat downstairs for ages just talking about her boyfriend, and our history. Apparently she and her boyfriend don't really get on very well, and he doesn't want to have sex very much because she's not a "skinny blonde" and he's also constantly trying to get her to settle down and have kids.

So basically we ended up kissing fairly late at night, and things very slowly progressed to the point where she was lying down in front of me on the sofa and I was running my fingers all over her and kissing her neck and her ear. At one point when her top had been pulled down out of the way she complained she was a bit cold, so I suggested going upstairs to where there is a bed and a proper blanket. She agreed, so we went upstairs.

It didn't take long for things to get back to how they were downstairs. Before too long we were taking off our clothes and kissing and breathing very heavily.

After some persuasion Valerie got on top of me and starting kissing and lightly scratching down my chest and stomach. Before too long she was below my waist. She teased for a while, kissing around my lower stomach and the top of my legs, and then she licked all the way from the base to the tip of my cock. She did that a couple of times and then I got impatient and put my hand on the back of her head and made it clear what I was after.

After a couple of minutes of giving me a blowjob Valerie moved forwards putting my cock between her boobs (which have grown to a 34E now) and basically just teased me a bit more like that.

When she moved over next to me on the bed I put on a condom and then rolled over and on top of her. Pushing into her seemed really tight. It felt great to be starting to have sex with someone for the first time in 3 months, and I could tell she was enjoying everything too.

After a few seconds I started to move in and out of her a bit faster and a bit harder. It felt great. It was ncie to look down and see her really enjoying it, and her boobs moving in time with my motions. Valerie has her arms around me and was starting to scratch my back and shoulders a bit stronger than she was doing to my chest earlier. I remembered that she liked to be held down, so I grabbed her hands and held them behind her head and started to be a bit more rough.

A few times I had to stop completely because I was so close the whole time, but Valerie was just pleased that it was lasting for more than 5 minutes, apparently. In total the sex lasted for around 30-45 minutes. Nowhere near the record, but not a bad start after the off-season.

Now it's over with I'm seriously doubting I'll bother with Valerie again. Being with her had the unexpected effect of reminding me of her negative points over her positive points. She's not the kind of person I want to be spending my time with, and the whole situation is pretty bad, so I think I'll try to keep my distance. That being said, I did enjoy having sex...

I mentioned a girl called Sally quite a long time ago on here. I had a fairly lengthy conversation with her last night after not speaking for quite a while.

During the conversation it was suggested that she we should meet up before the end of the year. She lives about an hour and a half away from me, so we've enver met before, although we've spoken a lot online and on the phone over the last 2 and a half years.

Sally drives, and she wanted to get away from where she is for a while, so I suggested that she should come and visit me. Well, she agreed, and so now we're just arranging a good time for it to happen. Hopefully it'll be sooner rather than later.

I don't know what kind of stuff she's interested in any more, but if she's anything like how she was then it'll be a pretty awesome few days...

Fingers crossed.

As I posted yesterday I was meeting up with Lisa and our mututal friend for some drinks last night.

After only a short amount of time our friend left and it was just Lisa and me for the rest of the night. We had a fair few drinks, and it still doesn't take many for her to get fairly drunk.

We spent a great deal of time, from very early on in the evening, talking about the time we spent together, and mostly the sex we had. We were both very flattering to each other, which is always nice, and there was a huge amount of sexual tension. She mentioned being on anti-depressants and said they caused her to not want sex very much with her boyfriend. She certainly seemed to enjoy talking about it though.

We had a chat about the conversation that caused Lisa and I to stop seeing each other. I wrote about it on this blog about 2 and a half years ago. She asked if I could see us together as a couple, only a few days or weeks after us agreeing that we would just be friends with benefits. Based on that conversation I gave some half-assed answer because I didn't want to fuck up what we had to try to get what I wanted. I really wanted to say yes to her back then. I found out last night that she really wanted me to say yes too.

It was so frustrating. Knowing that I could have had things how I wanted them all that time ago. Who knows how it would have turned out? It was a major fork in the road of our lives, and we took one turn because we were both too scared to admit we wanted to take the other.

After a bit more talking about our sexual exploits Lisa said this to me "If you were willing, and I was single, then we'd be on a bus back to your house right now," which made things even more frustrating. I replied with "if you were single and interested then we'd be in a taxi to my house right now!"

After a bit more talking I was a little bit drunk, so I apologised. When she asked what for I put my hand on the side of her face and kissed her on the cheek. I wanted to kiss her on the lips, but she mistook my lean as if I was about to whisper anything so I had to abort my original plan at the last minute. She knew what I'd had in mind afterwards though, and she said there was no need to apologise. Nothing else particularly untoward happened for the rest of the night. Just a lot of talk about sex, relationships, and what things could have been like between us.

It was rather unusual to get right into conversations like that with someone after not seeing them for ages, but it was also really nice. Hopefully we'll meet up again one day soon.

Getting started hasn't been quite as successful as I had hoped.

Cath
A few friends and I went out the other night and I did end up kissing Cath, but only because our friends were kissing each other and we didn't want to be left out. Pretty sure she wanted to do it for other reasons, but she also wants a boyfriend, so it's less likely that I'll get involved.

Valerie
I started getting messages from Valerie again basically as soon as she noticed I was single. She has been going out with her boyfriend for a year or so now, and this whole situation seems very familiar to how it was when I first started writing this blog. She spoke to me yesterday and was basically looking for me to convince her to cheat on her boyfriend with me. She says she doesn't want to be with him any more, and they're growing apart, and argue a lot, etc.

I told her that if they're growing apart then she should at least talk to him about it before just randomly going off and cheating on him. It was very strange to be talking myself out of sex, when all I really wanted to do was say "ok, come over now." It made me feel quite a bit better about myself though. The urge is still there to do it, and I'm weak enough that if she suggests it again then I'll probably do it. Just hope she sorts things out with her boyfriend first. Don't like being that guy.

Lisa
I got a message from Lisa, who was also around when I started writing this blog. She was asking a few folks if we wanted to go out for a drink. I'm good friends with her ex, but obviously I also have history with Lisa. You might think it would be really awkward, but it's not any more. Lisa's ex, my friend, will be joining Lisa and I for some drinks after work tonight. Lisa also has a boyfriend that she lives with, so nothing is going to happen. I just thought I'd mention it while I was on the topic of random people contacting me as soon as I became single.

Linzi
I'm not really sure what's going on with Linzi. I text her too much. I like her a lot, but I don't want a relationship just yet. She's still in a messed up sort of relationship, and she's not very happy. Sometimes she doesn't bother texting me back, and I think she's not interested, and then she'll randomly text me and we strike up a conversation again. I keep having to resist the urge of texting her all the time, and also I have to resist the urge to ask her out somewhere.

I have a message typed on my phone, saved as a draft from last night. It's basically a message asking if she wants to hang out somewhere one day and catch up. I feel ridiculous having even typed it, but I also really want to send it to her.

I just don't know what I'd be like if she said no. To be honest I'm not sure what to make of it if she said yes. Blah!

Now I'm single I've decided I should come up with a list of things I want to do before I am back in a serious relationship. Some of these could happen while I'm in a relationship, but I'm not 100% sure about them, so I'll aim to get them done before then.

Have a threesome with two girls

This one is fairly predictable. I've had a couple of threesomes before, but never one with two girls. It'll probably be easier with two girls who don't love me, rather than someone I'm in a relationship with and some other girl. If I had a girlfriend that was bi-sexual I obviously wouldn't complain. It's easy to find a girl who will say she wants a threeesome with another girl, but it's much more difficult to actually get that thing to happen.

I don't want the girls to both only be there for me. I want them to enjoy it with each other as much as they do with me. I don't just want to take it in turns having sex with one and then the other. I want them to do things to each, and maybe even sometimes I'm left out and I can just watch. I want to have sex with two girls who want to have sex with each other.

One night stand

I've had a one-night-stand before, sort of. I met up with a girl I had spoken to for a while and we had sex in a hotel room, and I haven't seen her since the next morning, but I knew her already. I've spoken to her online since then. The kind of thing I want to happen in this case is to find a totally random girl in a club or something, go back to her house, have sex, and then I leave in the morning before she wakes up. A proper one night stand.

Become a motherfucker

This is a bit of a strange one, but I think it would be a bit interesting. I've never had sex with a person who has a child before. I've had a blowjob from someone with a kid, but that's as far as it went. There's no particular reason for this one, just want to earn the title.

Have sex in interesting places again

My ex-girlfriend of a few years ago and I used to have sex all over the place. In the car parked on the driveway, or a random street, on the landing while people were in the house downtairs, in a swimming pool full of people, in the middle of a camping site in the woods in the middle of the night, on top of a national monument in America in broad daylight while people were below... I want more stories like that.

I can't currently remember the last time I had sex out of the house. It's probably around 5 and a half years ago now, not counting getting a bit of a blowjob on a couple of random streets one night. That's very sad.

Get started

That's pretty much my entire list for now. I'm sure I'll think of additional items at some point though. For now I just kind of want to get started having sex again. Pretty sure I could achieve this by the end of the day. Not convinced it's such a great idea though.

It seems pretty mental that it's so easy to get to a sexual level with people, but I guess people are all looking for the same few things when it all comes down to it. Sex was an important enough part of life for Maslow to include it on the base of his heirarchy of needs along with food, water, and sleep!

There's a girl I've known for a couple of months who is friends with a couple of my friends. I will call her Cath on here. She is 21 years old, graduated uni after studying journalism, and now works at a local gym on the reception for basically minimum wage. She still lives with her mum, and the house is about 10 miles away from here.

The first few times I met her I had it in my head that I wouldn't like her, so I didn't. After a while I noticed she wasn't actually as bad as I thought. So we started to become friends. We spoke a lot on Facebook and stuff like that. A couple of weeks ago she started being quite flirtatious with me, and she often spoke about my ex and I splitting up.

Now my ex and I have split up she's only really spoken to me once. Earlier this evening she asked me to go to her house tonight because her mum is out. I said I couldn't be bothered to go there, but would pay for her taxi to here. She didn't bother though because it was fairly late by the time I'd talked her into leaving the house.

Pretty sure the first time we spend any time together with any privacy we would have sex. It's basically been signed, sealed, and undelivered because of a postal strike.

The problem with having sex with Cath is that she knows quite a few people that I know, and if we ended up being stupid and hating each other then it could make things awkward for other people. It could also ruin my chances of getting together with another girl that knows her.

This other girl is called Linzi. I knew from wher I used to work, and we have kissed a couple of times. We pretty much used to speak to each other all the time, and for about a couple of weeks I was sure we'd get together. The problem was that she had a boyfriend. Well, she still sort of has the same boyfriend now. They broke up a couple of days before I did with my ex. Linzi's boyfriend has decided that they should actually just be in an open relationship, and she's being stupid enough to agree to it because she cares for him a lot.

Linzi is friends with same friends that Cath is friends with. This makes the whole thing very awkward.

I would like to see Cath a few times, but I don't want to be in a relationship with her. It would just be about sex. Things with Linzi are very different. I liked her a hell of a lot back then, and I'm sure I would do again if we started to see each other at all. I don't want to rush back into another relationship right now, and I doubt she does. I also don't want to try to ge with her and have her choose her on/off boyfriend over me.

Ordinarily I would be able to do the whole single random thing with Cath and then when I'm ready for a relationship I could see hat the state is with Linzi, but because they all know each other, and know my friends it wouldn't work that way. If I have sex with Cath then that would put me out of the runnings with Linzi.

I really have to think about what I actually want to happen with these two girls and then come up with a course of action that makes it happen. It would be very easy to mess it up by just having sex when it's offered on a plate. I have a sinking feeling that that's what'll happen. It's been a long time for me, and I really would like to have sex with someone. Having it offered would almost certainly lead to me accepting the offer.

Do I jeopardise a potential (however unlikely) future girl that I think I care about so I can have sex at the moment, or do I skip the sex now, and hope that things just randomly work out for the best with Linzi?

Confused, conflicted.

For the first time in 2 years and 3 months I am single. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about that.

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up last night. It was an amicable split, and so hopefully there will be no hard feelings by the time we've finished splitting our belongings, the house, the car, etc. We just drifted apart and so we decided to call it a day before we ended up arguing about stupid things and making our lives miserable.

I must say that the end of my relationship wasn't very enjoyable. To be quite frank I believe the last time I had sex was probably 3 months ago. That's a hell of a long time for me. I'm torn between wanting to make up for that as quickly as possible, and just taking it steady and seeing what happens.

I suppose that just the fact that I'm updating here shows that I do want to get out there and do some things, but who knows how I'll feel by the time everything in my life is back to normal. I am probably accurately described as "on the rebound." That can lead to a lot of fun, or a lot of misery. I am aiming squarely at the fun!

There were girls I was interested before I got in a relationship, and girls I was interested while I was in the relationship, but I'm not sure what to think about them now.

There are a couple of girls that something could happen with in the semi-near future, but I guess I should really wait until my ex-girlfriend has moved out before I start bringing girls home...

There are still many things I haven't done that I would like to try, even at my advanced age. Hopefully I'll get a chance to try some of them before I settle down into another relationship.

I haven't updated for a long time because nothing much has happened. I'm still with the same girlfriend, and still liking it. We bought a house together in fact!

We still haven't stumbled across a girl for a threesome though. We know a girl called Carol that is up for it, and so are we, but she's married, oh and she lives in a foreign country...

The other day we were chatting online and she showed us her boobs over webcam. It was weird having that happen for the benefit of both my girlfriend AND myself. I don't think anything will come of it though. I don't want to share my girlfriend with another guy, and she says she doesn't want to do anything

There's a girl called Denise that I've mentioned a few times before on here. We started talking again recently, and I realised that I still really like her. I wish I'd been more forward when I was single. Blah. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and that makes it a bit worse. She might be on the rebound and is more likely to suggest something bad for my relationship. It's a lot harder not to do something when it's offered on a plate. Not that it has been... Blah.

My friend and his fiancée broke up with each other not so long back. He's come to stay with my girlfriend and I for a while so he can try to stay away from her. This is all well and good because we get on fine and he and my other half get on well too.

There is a bit of awkwardness in my mind though. My friend is Dan. He and I have both had threesomes with previous girlfriends of each other in the past. Since then I've kind of decided that, although I enjoyed it a fair bit previously, I don't want him screwing my girlfriend now.

It's not like he's gone around asking or anything like that. Just every now and then something sexual will come up in conversation and I can feel the tension in the air. It just gets to me a little bit. They're at the gym together right now. I'm still stuck at work. I trust them both as much as I can, but I can't put the idea that something might happen out of my head. I'm sure it hasn't already happened... That doesn't help me with my paranoia about the future though. Them going to the gym is going to be a regular thing, and I can't go along because I'm always working late.

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to make sure I keep Eliza interested in me, and trust them both. If something happens then I'll have the right to be pissed off. If I say something now then that'll just cause problems. Hopefully he'll find somewhere else to live before too long and things can go back to normal.

In the mean time I'm still trying to find another female for a threesome. Will this saga ever end?

Oh yeah, who the hell tagged me with "talks-a-load-of-shit"? What a stupid tag. This is the blog I've kept away from people I know so I can tell the whole truth.

I can't begin to remember the amount of girls I've been with who have claimed to be interested in having a threesome with another girl. My first proper girlfriend said she was. To be fair to her she did go so far as to kiss another girl with me in the room, but then we got interrupted before anything good happened. It never came up again either. My previous girlfriend said she was very interested. She also kissed another girl with me (which I wrote about in this blog entry under the title of Rachel). that never quite got off the ground either though.

My current girlfriend has said she'd be more than willing to go for a threesome, but she doesn't know any other girls who would be up for it. Understandably she doesn't want to have one with any of my previous girlfriends. She also doesn't want to have one with Sally, but that's because she somehow feels threatened by her. I can't just go out and pick up some random girl from somewhere. It'd be really weird. Going out and picking up a girl with my girlfriend would be even more strange.

I think even if I found another willing girl there would be some excuse not to do it.

My question is this: why say you're interested in a threesome with another girl if you're actually not?

I suppose the obvious answer is appeasement of the males thirsting for the threesome in the first place. Still, men would be a lot more understanding about the whole thing if women took the time to explain that it was all a con and they're only passingly interested in going anywhere with the thought.

It's such a shame. I always seem to get my hopes up when a girl says she wants to do it. You'd think I would have learned by now... If you never give up then you never fail!